Sexual Intelligence – The Talk At Project One Gallery

Lipstick and Politics hosted "Sexual Intelligence and The Politics Of Sex" on June 8, 2012 at Project One Gallery. At first entrance the artwork on the stark, white walls seemed to begin the conversation all by itself. The images of women as re-imagined by  Nick Flatt, an artist whose voice speaks through monochromatic realism pushes all boundaries of comfort. Flatt's women are hypersexualized, sexually provocative and sensually vulnerable. I couldn't help but see the conversation in these paintings. The giant gallery of work was perfect for the evening. After all, we were there to discuss not only desire, but also the commodification of that in point — Nick Flatt and his "realistic" work.

For those of you that missed the event the evening started with discussion of   the Orgasm. Yes, that is with a big O. Sexologist,   Dr. Carol Queen  from  Good Vibrations  assured all the women in the room that there are   seven billion ways to have an orgasm. Every person is different and has an orgasm differently. I have to be honest, I couldn't help but ask the big question that a lot of women want to know...myself included.  What's this about the all-elusive vaginal orgasm, is it a myth or reality?    The conclusion? According to some of the women in the room they had experienced an orgasmic feeling with penetration, which they assumed was a kind of orgasm. Some said they had orgasmed with penetration and clitoral stimulation in certain positions. Consensus was that clitoral stimulation was needed to get the big O. The intimacy of vaginal sex was enough of a bonding experience that sometimes the goal wasn't to Orgasm but just to be intimate.

I found the event incredibly enlightening and challenging at the same time. The amazing group of women that attended were brave enough to handle a conversation that many of us should be having — not only with our partners but also with our friends, sisters and yes even our mothers. Women need to let go of the stigma of being sexually open. Being sexually open with the women close to you is the ONLY way we are going to change how society treats us.  If we cannot shift our behaviour around sex, how can we even presume to shift the behaviour of the rest of the world?  Being sexually open does NOT mean you are easy. It does NOT mean your reputation in your community will be marred. It only means you choose to own your sexuality and embrace all that makes you a beautiful woman. I am not saying that you need to share your intimate details with everyone, but I am saying you need to be able to treat your desire with authenticity. Desire for pleasure should not be something we feel we need to hide or be ashamed about.

I was incredibly saddened by all of my friends who chose not to attend because they were either ashamed or felt they couldn't handle an open conversation around the topic of sex. Yes, I had friends who told me outright they did not want to attend for that reason. Others first said yes, then found one reason or another not to attend.   To the credit of most of my male friends, many of them encouraged their wives and girlfriends to join in the conversation and own their sexuality. They wanted to please their wives and girlfriends and thought a safe women-only conversation would be a healthy positive way to do it. Kudos to the guys who really care about the women in their lives and are not afraid to tackle the tough topics.

Below are a few pictures from the event. We chose not to video the event out of respect for privacy of the attendees. We will be interviewing Dr. Carol Queen and Serene Martinez for our video series in the near future.

Mira Veda, Serene Martinez and Dr. Carol Queen.

The Crave Duet. The most beautiful intimate accessory every woman should own...

Serene Martinez, CEO of  Pink Bunny  brought some beautiful toys to share with the women. In fact, she suggested that couples have a threesome with their vibrators, a cute idea that might actually fulfill many a male fantasy. There was further discussion about the representation of women in society and government, portrayal of women in media, ownership of sexuality...and a ton of other really spicy things I just can't share with you. Next time, you'll just have to make it to the event...if you're the right gender of course.

Contributor Kully with Dr. Carol Queen and L&P Guest

Editor Sarah Cooke and Director of Content Geeta Kalyanee



Post discussion coed portion...the conversation continues...

Thank you again to Pink Bunny and Good Vibrations for the amazing door prizes for 4 lucky L&P winners.

Ladies..use your prizes well..wink wink..nudge nudge...