Polygamy and The Women Who Love It.

I'm addicted to this show on TLC called "Sister Wives.” For those of you who haven't heard, it's about a polygamist family, the Browns, who live in Utah. I first heard about this new show on TLC while watching Oprah. The husband and his 4 wives were featured on the show. I was so intrigued because this 'family' was not the typical polygamist family that you hear about. The typical polygamist family has some sort of dark secret, i.e. child brides, brainwashing, and even more horrific, abusive  details. Please let me be clear early in my blog. I am not in ANY way supporting THAT type of relationship. This is all about a type of relationship that includes happy and healthy people who are free to make their own decisions.

Ok now that I have that out of the way, I shall continue with Sister Wives. So the husband, Kody, is married to 4 women - Meri, Janelle, Christine, and the newest addition, Robyn. Kody has a total of 13 kids with the first 3, and then Robyn has 3 from a previous marriage as well... a grand total of 16 children! My first thought was  'how do they support 16 kids financially??' The generation of men who I am surrounded by seem to have huge commitment issues (I think we all know a few men like that). This guy, Kody, not only supports his wives, but also his 16 children! Yes, of course, three of the wives work as well which helps, but I cannot imagine what type of expectations all of the 16 children PLUS 4 wives must have of this husband/father. And the impressive part of it all is that he fulfills all of these expectations. I applaud him for being able to manage it all, especially when I think of all those men who are too scared to even manage one wife and one or two kids.

So the show is now in Season 2 and there is a police investigation into the family and potential charges of bigamy are brewing. Charges of bigamy are usually only pressed if a person has two spouses and they are unaware of each other. This case is truly different than that situation because these wives all live cohesively (3 live in the same house with separate quarters). All of the children are raised as brothers and sisters, and all of the wives get along wonderfully (for the most part). I can't help but feel so sad for this family because they honestly enjoy and feel content in their current family dynamics. I personally would not be able to share my husband with another woman, but these women must be content and drawn to this type of family, otherwise they wouldn't stay with this man for 16 years. I understand that there are scary polygamy cases out there where child abuse is common and I encourage police to crack down on those cases. It's sad though, because in the abuse cases, there are limited victims who come forward, which gets the investigations nowhere. The Browns, though, have let the world into their families via TLC and having interviews with the Today's Show and Oprah, obviously because they feel like they aren't doing anything wrong. They're just a loving family who wants the world to know that there are people who choose the path of polygamy out there. Why should they be reprimanded for that?

After watching this show I have decided that my views on polygamy by choice have changed. When I was younger, the concept of homosexuality was made aware to me and I was taken back. How could a woman love another woman, or a man love another man? Multi-person relationships are being viewed the same way that homosexuality was viewed years ago. I grew up and  learned that it's possible to love anyone, no matter what their sex, their color, religion etc., and  I believe society needs to do the same.

All of these restrictions on love come from fundamental religious views and they are barriers that need to be broken. Relationships that are different from 'a man marries a woman and has children' are considered taboo. Any person should have the freedom to love whomever they choose. Why is it that the government can 'allow' a relationship to be legal or illegal? This family has come forward to show itself to the world. The Browns want  the world to see that they  are, for the most part, exactly like a 'normal' family. The only difference is that Kody has four wives and all of them coexist very happily with each other.

I think we  all need to start breaking down the walls of what is 'acceptable' and what isn't. Obviously I don't think this will happen overnight. The homosexual community has been fighting for their rights for decades but the movement still hasn't gotten very far. Now polygamists are fighting for their rights as well.  The sooner we accept these different types of relationships as a society, the sooner the government will be forced to give them the freedom to live as a happy family.

When will we  realize that love is truly unconditional?  Soon, I hope.  And I will aid this shift in mentality by being open  with my children, for they are the next generation.

On a side note... as a woman I have always wondered why there have only been cases of men having plural wives. I have never heard of a woman having more than one husband. Can you imagine having four husbands? One who can fix anything and everything around the house, one who is rich so you never have to worry about money, one who can fulfill all of your emotional needs, and one who can help take  care of the kids. Oh well... a woman  can dream can't she?