Have We Lost Our Ability To Have Real Connection?

Today a friend of mine started talking to me about her relationship. She has been living with her boyfriend for years, but the relationship has been over for quite some time. Although they are not in a relationship anymore, financial reasons have them living in the same house. They live together, they barely speak, yet today she said he sent her a request on Facebook to be in a relationship with him.

When she first told me this, I did not really understand what that meant, as I was not familiar with relationship requests on the site. She explained that if you want your status to say you’re “in a relationship” with someone, they must accept it. Makes sense.

This talk made me really think about how much goes on online. People get into relationships, break up, and make up - all behind the walls of technology, whether it be through Facebook, chatlines or sms text messages.

What happened to talking or someone in person, or picking up the phone and making a phone call? More and more people use the Internet as a safety net. They can express what they feel honestly and openly that way; if they get rejected, they don’t feel as bad because they don’t have to face one another.

While writing this blog, I was playing around on my Blackberry in app world. I found an app called “Flirtomatic,” which is an app meant to make flirting easier. It allows you to send flirtatious messages to people you don’t really know and to make new friends.

Really?? Do we really need an application teaching us how to flirt and telling us what to say? What happened to showing a genuine interest in a person? I feel like all the technology we are surrounded by is distancing us from one another. By sending messages online, we are losing a sense of intimacy and are missing a deeper level of connection from our relationships.

Sure, the Internet is making our lives easier, but it is also making us lazy when it comes to developing relationships.   I don’t know about you, but if someone is interested in me, I want to be told in person or over the phone. I don’t want a text or a Facebook message asking me to be in a relationship. I have more respect for people who can say what they feel and want in someone because it shows me that they are confident and not afraid of being turned down. And - if you are turned down - in the wise words of the late Aaliyah: “Dust yourself off and try again.”

So the next time you are about to text your feelings to someone, try calling them instead and make room in your life for some face time!