Help, I Married An Alien!

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day (my favorite day of the year), I thought it would be a great opportunity to write about emotional needs in a relationship and how the level to which you fulfill them for your partner can make or break your relationship.

Photo courtesy of "Hammer51012"

How does this tie into my favorite day of the year you ask? Well, to put it bluntly: if Valentine’s Day is one of the few days of the year where you show your partner how much they really mean to you with a card, flowers, chocolates, jewelry etc.…then don’t even bother.   The point I’m getting at is: if you don’t continuously show the one you love how much they mean to you on a daily basis, then not even a freebie-day like Valentine’s Day can act as your saving grace.

Real affection towards one another should be a daily occurrence and if it isn’t, then you need to recognise the value of what you have and get your relationship back in gear. So whether you are single, happily married or you’ve hit a road bump in your relationship; you NEED to listen to ‘Help! I married an alien’- a podcast from Calgary Life Church. Uh-oh…I said church. I’m not spreading this message with the intent of changing people’s spirituality; so don’t let the word ‘church’ scare you. Listen to each podcast with an open mind, ignore the ‘churchy messages’ if you feel the need to and absorb the core concept.

Photo courtesy of Denise Mayumi

How to find them: on iTunes, the podcasts will come up if you search ‘Help! I married an alien’ or ‘Calgary Life Church’. You will find two 50 minute (approx.) audio episodes and four-28 minute videos; both formats are the same message and they are all free so just go with whichever one you prefer. Upload them to your iPod or computer; they’re a great listen on your commute to work or whenever you have some time to spare in your day.

The theme is based off the book ‘His Needs Her Needs’ by Willard F. Jr. Harley. The tips and conversations in the podcasts help demystify relationship needs both from a woman’s and a man’s perspective. This will provide you with the tools, knowledge and understanding of your partner (and what to look for in a potential partner for any singles out there).

Photo courtesy of Camdiluv

Without giving away too many details, here’s a look at the top five needs between women and men:




Sexual fulfilment

Conversation (15 hours a week)

Recreational companionship

Honesty and openness

An attractive spouse

Financial support (the podcast explains this in further detail)

Domestic support

Commitment to family

Admiration and respect

Isn’t it crazy to think that so many issues boil down to effectively fulfilling the other person’s needs? The podcasts explain how the needs on both lists relate to one another. For example:   A woman may not satisfy a man’s ‘sexual fulfilment ‘need if she feels that one or more of the items on her list are not being met.     In turn, the man may not satisfy the ‘commitment to family’ need to its fullest if he feels that some of his needs are being neglected.

This Valentine’s Day, take a deep look at your relationship. Do you find it’s easier for you to give gifts to your partner than it is to express to them face to face how much they really mean to you? Once you listen to these podcasts, forget about the materialistic things and vow to focus on your relationship every day of the year.

Love is in the air!