Sex Is Really Important You Know…

Just yesterday, I received a belated text on a conversation I was having with a friend a few days prior, a conversation that I assumed had ended since other threads of communication had begun. Receiving the “ Sex is really important, you know” text caught me a little off guard only because I knew what my friend meant at a higher level.


It’s true; sexual relations are the driving force of our existence. It’s an abatement of all sanity into the depth of our primal brain. We respond to the well-contrived delivery of the commodification of our desire just because it is so powerful. I am still curious how a gorgeous voluptuous half dressed body of a woman can sell a car or a pack of gum. Obviously there are some deeper cognitive responses happening that I have no understanding of.     Why the sexual innuendo of well-exposed legs hung over the hood of a black sexy   hot Porsche 911 Turbo works is far beyond me.

In any case, my friend’s comment did not enervate the obvious, “SEX is REALLY important”.   The fascinating thing is, how it’s importance sits with women and how it sits with men. I have known males friends of mine that can’t get beyond the sexual relations they have with women. They can only find their connection through the language of sex. In fact, one guy in particular has not had a long term relationship in 7years but he’s had a string of sexual partners. For him, sex is the only intimacy he understands. It’s the only way he connects to a woman. Watching him operate is like watching a wounded bird whose lost its legs. He doesn’t understand the legs provided lift and no matter how hard he flaps his wings he’ll never fly.


For women, sex must have an emotional component. Women are by nature emotional creatures. We do not want to use sex for connection like men, we want to have connection then sex. And that’s why they say, sex changes everything. Perhaps it’s the vulnerability aspect that leads to this change. We expose ourselves (no pun intended..ok maybe a little) when we get into relations, the physical exposure is a gateway to our psychological exposure.


So I guess, Sex is really important because it allows us to connect deeper but also because it’s so hardwired into our DNA. Two years ago, I found myself contemplating a situation I thought I would never see. A very religious and high status individual was in throes of Alzheimer’s, he did not remember anyone he had known in his past. Well into his 80’s he made advances at every young pretty girl he came across, behavior that had previously been sequestered under the garb of religion. I was shocked at the final displays that would define our last meeting, ‘is this the primal, reptilian brain we resort to when we forget everything else?” I was fascinated at how important sex seemed to be for us as humans. We have a natural drive to pro-create and get close to others.


The only inhibiters to these rules are societal conventions. The moralistic hoop-la of what’s right or wrong. What’s good and bad. All of it created by us. The only thing that doesn’t seem to be created by us is this undeniable drive that makes people act the way they do. All of it making ‘sex really important, you know.”

Until next time lovers...