I was at the front of the Starbucks line the other day with my girlfriend when I asked her if she'd ever 'sexted' someone before. She looked a little stunned and after doing a quick 360 to check if anyone around us had heard, her eyes looked stunned as she whispered "oh my god Jenn, that was really loud, keep it down…". So I whispered back…."So do you, do you ever sext?" She replied in a stern whisper "Yes, obviously… (awkward pause)….everyone does it" and darted away from the conversation.

Is sexting the new thing? I use the word 'new' lightly as I'm sure we've all been doing it for quite some time now, yet oddly enough, people are still uncomfortable in talking about it.

In my experience, all it takes are a few words for the 'did he really just write that?' moment and for the giant grin on my face to kick in. There's something intriguing about a text that isn’t fully sexually suggestive, yet it's right there waiting in your inbox, open to interpretation. You can't help but respond with something to up-the-ante and that's when the ball starts to roll. This is where an unlimited texting plan comes in quite handy.

Similar to a text message being easier than making a phone call, does sexting remove the fear of sexual expression face-to-face? Example, would you sit across a table from your partner and have a full conversation using the exact things you said in your last sext?

Photo courtesy of Ed Yourdon

Sexting adds mystery and anticipation. Vulnerability settles in your gut the minute you hit send and eases only once the 'new message' icon appears your screen. This is the case especially in a new relationship when you're not 100% sure of the response that your sexually charged message will render. And that's the mystery. Anticipation kicks in when you receive a 'new message' icon and your heart rate picks up only to find that it's a message from your mom letting you know that she just finished watering her plants.

A word of caution, always reply wisely when a message from parents or coworkers gets intertwined in your inbox. "Last night was amazing" can cause extreme confusion for parents. And let's be honest here, "Last night was amazing" is NOT the only thing that you wrote. YIKES!

Will sending sexually charged text messages soon replace candle-lit dinners in the book of romance? Sometimes it makes me wonder, but I'm starting to lean towards the fact that overall, sexting has potential to improve a couple's dynamic. My friend and her partner's careers force them to spend a lot of time apart; sometimes weeks at once. She told me that they make a point of sending each other poems before bed during these times. As I watched her scroll through the list of sent poems to read me a romantic one, I immediately thought to myself how dorky I think poems are. All of a sudden it dawned on me that these so-called dorky poems were not dorky at all. Let's just say that there were a number of poems that I was not allowed to read. 'Nuf said…

Feeling spicy? Kick it up and sext someone! (just not your parents…)

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