Groupon And Gun Control

When I read this article criticizing Groupon for suspending gun-related deals, I began to feel things. Things that you traditionally feel when you eat bad meat seasoned with thumb tacks.   Maybe I’m dyspeptic or maybe I’m just sick of hearing that gun junkies are up in arms over the prospect of stricter regulations to acquire their beloved pieces of metal designed to kill people.   And now Groupon decides to break out the mala beads and patchouli as it indirectly  takes a stance on the controversial topic of gun control.   Gun merchants who used Groupon are outraged, OUTRAGED I tell you.   Never mind  creating a defensible brand, Groupon needs to start thinking about gun merchants and how this break-up makes them feel. What an unpredictable move to stop supporting an antiquated firearm industry whose regulations are as enforced as John Boehner’s wedding vows.

And then there are those that believe that their precious guns are now threatened by Czar Obama who's vying to take away their semi-automatics. (Like Hitler! Like Stalin!)   The only forward progress the President has made on taking all guns away forever has been 23 tyrannical executive actions (different from executive orders, which don’t need to be approved by the Senate) that support policies, and an enforcement agency that already exist.   The law enforcement agency for Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF), has yet to have a director in six years since Jim Sensenbrenner (R-WI) added a provision into the 2006 Patriot Act requiring the ATF’s director be confirmed by the Senate (now there’s a dude that deserves to be fired).   One of Obama's executive actions is asking that the Senate finally confirm an ATF director but as per usual the Senate is up in arms over who to elect prom queen.

Speaking of the idiocy swathed onto gun control, let's chat NRA.   The group’s level of intelligence was proved when they released that ad (you know the one) asking the certifiably insane question as to why the President’s children get armed guards when everyone else’s don’t.   Why does the President even get security?     It’s racism! It’s gunicism!   Forget the No Child Left Behind Act.   What about the No Child Left Behind Without A Gun Act?   The NRA must be comprised of a bunch of only children who OD’ed on playdough when their parents got them a stupid pony for their 11th birthday instead of the AR-15 they asked for.   Ugh, parents ruin EVERYTHING.

And now we circle back to Groupon who’s joining the war on the Second Amendment by pulling all gun-related deals from their site. God forbid you wouldn’t be able to get your concealed handgun course for half off.   You know how many more guns you can buy with all the money that you’d save?